


To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before

by novembur



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, but now it’s just a fake dating au, in other words you don’t need to know anything about tatbilb to read, letter concept taken from tatbilb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28444527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novembur/pseuds/novembur
Summary: In an attempt to help Toni get over her ex, Martha sends out the letters Toni wrote for each of her crushes throughout the years. When Shelby of all people receives one of the letters, Toni is utterly surprised. She’s even more surprised Shelby found a way to convince her into a fake relationship. The thing about “fake relationships” is they never end how they start.Chapter Three Preview:“Was it weird that I kissed you yesterday?” Shelby asked quickly after glancing from Toni’s lips to her eyes. She sweeped the gloss across Toni’s lips as if to spare some time before she had to hear Toni’s answer.“No, why would it be?” The only weird thing about the kiss was how Toni felt afterwards. For a fake relationship, the kiss felt very real. “I’m your girlfriend, right?”
Relationships: Martha Blackburn & Toni Shalifoe, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 42
Kudos: 197





	1. The Letters

**Author's Note:**

> didn’t really know what to put for the summary, but i hope you enjoy!

“Fuck, Marty, fuck!” Toni shouted into the small space of their dorm room as she paced back and forth, the sound of her voice carrying through their thin walls. 

“I didn’t-“ Marty started to speak, but her words were interrupted by the sound of the textbooks on Toni’s desk hitting the floor. She jumped up on the desk, kicking away the chair that was tucked into it. It fell back on the floor with an aggressive thud that made Marty cover her ears.

Toni gripped the edge of her desk until her knuckles turned white. “I can’t believe you’d pull this shit on me.” She said through gritted teeth, partly because of anger and partly because of the desk beginning to splinter underneath her fingers. She released her grip before she would have to pay the university a ridiculous amount of money to fix it. 

She heard Marty searching around her desk drawer on the opposite side of the room. A few strides across the small dorm and Marty was lifting the chair Toni kicked. She propped it up against the desk before taking Toni’s hand in her’s.

“You’re bleeding.” Marty’s voice was barely above a whisper. Toni looked down to see the travel-sized first aid kit on her lap as she took out bandages to wrap around the cut.

Toni sighed, tilting her head back. She knew that Marty would never intend to hurt her. Toni had always been fiercely, vocally, physically protective of her. Marty offered Toni protection in a different way. A way that she needed. She offered it in lesser known ways. It was the kind of thing where Toni wouldn’t realize Marty had done what was best for her until later on. Most of the time, much later on. 

“I honestly thought you wanted them to be sent. I would never do something like this if I would’ve known.” When Marty finished bandaging her hand, she continued to hold it in her’s. 

Toni knew better than to look down. Marty would be looking up to her with those puppy dog eyes, probably filled with tears.

She’d gotten better at dealing with her anger throughout the years and she realized she was more upset at the situation than she was at Marty. After all, the letters had been put in an envelope, stamped, and addressed to the people they were written to. 

Except one, the letter she wrote to Regan. That letter she planned to save until their wedding day, when she would read it at their dinner, before the bridesmaids began their speeches. 

She slid out the box containing the five letters exactly a week after Regan broke up with her. She gave her some bullshit excuse about long-distance being too hard and how she wanted to be her mom thought she shouldn’t be “tied down” in college. It was bullshit.

Toni realized it was probably easy to look at the four letters and think they were ready to be sent out, especially since this was the first time she’d shown her the little brown box in all of their years spent together.

She finally looked down. Seeing the tears brimming Marty’s eyes finally made her break. She could see the guilt written on her face. She knew she was feeling terrible. 

“I know you didn’t mean to.” Toni finally breathed out and Marty’s face brightened. She reached her hands around Toni’s waist to hug her.

“Thank you.” Marty said while her head still rested on Toni’s stomach. 

If this had happened years ago, they definitely wouldn’t be talking right now. Toni would’ve given her the silent treatment for weeks, maybe even months. She would’ve risked their friendship over a mistake. Toni knew better now than to let someone so important to her go over a misunderstanding.

They sat in silence for a while. Neither knew what to say to alleviate the situation. Marty eventually spoke up, “Most of them probably won’t even see it and if they do, they won’t really care that much. I mean, Fatin’s never home and her family probably gets so much mail about yacht parties, dinner parties, and invites to private islands, I doubt they can keep it all straight.”

Fatin Jadmani. Rich, pretty, popular. She was the type of girl Toni was taught to hate her from various sitcoms, movies, series, and even music. Fatin represented the “other girls” Toni was supposed to be nothing like. What these shows and movies didn’t teach her was that sometimes the rich, pretty, popular girl was also funny, caring, and a beast with a cello. Toni easily found herself crushing for the cellist before it could be helped.

“You shouldn’t stress too much about Rachel getting the letter,” Marty continued. “She already knew about how you felt.”

Rachel Reid. Fierce, determined, strong. The two met in their first year of high school when they’d join track meets as a way of improving their cardio to become better at their respective sports. The first thing she noticed about Rachel was how she managed to still look gorgeous after a long afternoon run with the sun beating down on them. The second thing she noticed was how much she pushed Toni to do better, to be better. When Toni confessed, they started dating.. It was a rough three weeks before realizing they worked a lot better as friends. Their breakup never felt like a breakup since they just went back to being friends as if nothing happened. 

Marty began again, “I already got Linh’s letter back from her host family. She must’ve moved back home already.”

Linh Bach. Outgoing, adventurous, passionate. She was the junior exchange student Toni met the summer going into her second year of high school. She worked at the same restaurant as Toni and could tie a cherry stem into a knot in less than 20 seconds. She dedicated a whole evening to trying to teach Toni. They never kissed, but the thick tension between them could’ve been cut with a knife. Linh always reminded her that she was too young for her plus she had something going on with an older woman Toni never wanted her to go in detail about. She stated it wasn’t their time yet, but she didn’t want to write them off forever. Toni wish she kissed her before she moved back home. 

“Waiting for Shelby’s aunt to send her letter back. I shouldn’t have even sent that one. Since she hasn’t been posting in a while, she’s probably on some mission trip. When that’s over she’s gonna be back to Texas.”

Shelby Goodkind. Her first kiss. Kind, patient, optimistic. At least that’s what could be said about the Shelby Toni met at summer camp in midde school. They happened to meet by chance. It just so happened that when Toni was forced to go to camp, Shelby was staying with her aunt that same summer. 

One of Toni’s favorite things about her was her smile. A rare sight, even though she always had a cheerful demeanor about her. It irritated Toni beyond belief, but was important to have at their age. She was missing two teeth in the front, something that the bullies were keen on reminding her of. Her wide smiles were few and far between. But then she got dental implants, grew into her height, and became the Texas beauty queen she was today. 

If Fatin was the type of girl she was taught to hate, Shelby became the type of girl she knew to hate. Competing in sexist beauty pageants was one thing, but then came her posting daddy’s sermons on her Instagram stories. When she posted his sermon about Leviticus 18:22 that’s when Toni had to unfollow. It disgusted her to see the person Shelby turned into, so far from the girl she shared her first kiss with back at camp.

Marty never sent out the fifth letter, the final letter, the only letter without an envelope and stamp. This was Toni’s letter to Regan. Toni planned on saving that one, keeping it until their wedding day where she’d read it just before the maids of honor went on with their speeches. It hurt her to think about what they could’ve been.

She sighed, finally hugging Marty back. She saw how hard Toni took the break up. This was her way of helping her get over it.

“If it was anyone else who pulled this shit, I would’ve killed them.” Toni mumbled. 

“I know.” Marty replied with a quiet laugh, hugging Toni tighter.

•

It had been a couple days since Marty told her about the letters. She hadn’t heard from any of them yet which relieved Toni. Maybe Marty was right, this would pass as if nothing had happened at all.

She still had a lot on her mind. Not hearing back from anyone resulted in Regan being on her mind more than ever. She should’ve thrown her letter away when she had the chance, but instead she ended up fixating on it. Marty talked her out of driving halfway across the country to see her, reminding her that she’ll come back around when she was ready.

When classes and practice weren’t there to keep her mind off things, she went to the basketball court. It became a nightly routine of her’s. She’d grab her headphones and water bottle, put on her playlist, and then she could play for hours. Most of the day, the court would be full and she would have to join someone else’s game, but at night, it was all her’s.

Tonight, she was practicing her jump shots, each one went into the hoop with ease. After getting the ball back from under the hoop, she dribbled the ball back up the court. That’s when she noticed someone walking towards her. She really wasn’t in the mood to share the court with anyone tonight. She went back to the bench facing the court where she kept her water bottle. 

She turned up her music a little louder as she sat down, basketball at her side. She took a few sips of water before bending down to fix a shoelace that became undone. Once she finished tying, she glanced back up to the court, surprised not to see anyone there. 

A tap on her shoulder startled her. She ripped her headphones out, but the music could still be faintly heard through them. “What the fuck?” She snapped her head towards the person who touched her. She froze as she stared at the person standing before her. “Shelby?”

Shelby Goodkind. Pageant girl. Preacher’s daughter. Toni’s first kiss. She hadn’t seen her in years, yet there she was standing in front of her. If it wasn’t for Instagram, Toni wouldn’t be able to recognize her. She looked nothing like the lanky middle schooler she met at camp. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” 

Shelby chuckled softly, shifting her weight between each foot. “Martha said this is where I could find-“

“I mean what the fuck are you doing at this school? Shouldn’t you be in Texas right now? Or on some mission trip taking pictures with the kids you’re trying to colonize?”

Shelby sighed, shaking her head as she sat down next to Toni. “This is why I’m here.” She lifted up the letter, showing it to Toni.

“Fuck.” Toni bent over, putting her head in her hands. The shock of being in the presence of Miss Texas herself made her forget about the damn letter.

“Martha already told me that she was the one who sent it… She told me why she sent it.” 

This meant she knew about Regan. Toni looked up just in time to see Shelby’s sympathetic smile. “Don’t look at me like that.” She didn’t want Shelby’s sympathy. Didn’t want to get a lecture on how she’s just trying to save her. Didn’t want to hear about how she ‘loves the sinner, but hates the sin.’ “Did you come here to tell me about how I’m gonna burn-“

“No! That’s, that’s not it at all-Toni, I’m here because I’m...I’m in a similar situation as you and I thought you could help.”

Toni sat up so that she could fully look at her now. “What’re you talking about?”

“Well,” Shelby started, taking a deep breath. “I happen to have just gone through a breakup myself. And I know you’re going to think this idea is ridiculous, but I think we could both benefit from it, so just hear me out, okay? I was thinking…” Shelby spoke slowly, often taking pauses. “I was thinking we could pretend to be in a relationship. You know, to make our exes jealous. I know it sounds crazy, but I think if they see us with other people…”

Toni took a long time to reply, tuning out the rest of Shelby’s “speech.” She couldn’t believe what she just heard. “You’re way more of a fucking psychopath than I thought you were if you think I’ll fake being your girlfriend cause two girls kissing makes your shitty ex’s dick hard. Fucking ridiculous.” Toni started gathering up her things. 

As she stood up, Shelby grabbed hold of her wrist. Toni watched as she rolled her eyes. Shelby laughed in exasperation, not being able to look at Toni. “My ex doesn’t have a dick. Her name is Becca, asshole.”

In any other context, Toni would’ve laughed at hearing Shelby Goodkind, in her unbelievably southern accent say the word “dick,” but she was definitely not laughing now. It’s crazy how a few words, two sentences, can make one change their entire perspective of someone else.

“Shit. Sorry. I just saw you posting daddy’s sermons and assumed…”

“Yeah, self-hatred is a hell of a thing.” Toni watched as Shelby’s gaze fell to her lap.

So that was it. The reason why she was here, at this school, living with her aunt. Her sudden lack of social media presence wasn’t because of some mission trip after all. She had to leave her siblings, her mom, her friends, her pageantry, all so that she could be free. 

“Fuck.” Toni quickly sat down again. “I’m sorry, Shelby.” She hugged her knees close to her chest, worried as Shelby continued to avoid looking her in the eyes. “I-“

“It’s all good, things are a lot better now.” Shelby finally returned her gaze.

Toni sighed. She sat up and leaned into the bench. “I’ll help you.” Her voice was much quieter than usual.

She looked back at Shelby to see a wide smile on her face. “Really? You’ll do it? You’ll be my pretend girlfriend? And it isn’t just a guilt thing?”

“I mean I’m not gonna lie, the guilt is definitely a part of it.” It made her uncomfortable to see Shelby’s smile falter. “I mean it’s a crazy idea, but I also think it could work.” She couldn’t help smiling when she saw Shelby’s smile return. 

Shelby pulled Toni into a tight hug. Toni hugged her back. When Shelby pulled away that wide smile was still there, maybe even wider than before. It wasn’t the same smile she had at camp, but it was still beautiful. It made Toni remember why she wrote the letter to her in the first place. 

“So,” Shelby sang, putting her hand out. “We’re fake official then?”

Toni chuckled as she shook her hand back. “Yeah, fake official it is.”


	2. The Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martha invites Shelby over to stay the night so that her and Toni can have a night alone. It’s not the night Martha would’ve hoped for them, but it gives them time to discuss the situation they’ve found themselves in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy! as always please leave any corrections/suggestions in the comments!

Toni laid in her bed, tossing her basketball up and then catching it in her hands. Physically, she was exhausted. Late night practices after a full day of classes always hit her hard. She wanted to fall asleep, but her thoughts kept her awake.

It had been a couple days since she agreed to “date” Shelby and she was still reeling from the craziness of it all. Of all the people to actually get her letter in the mail, it happened to be the one she thought was miles away. The one she thought she would never have to see again. The one she thought would be living out her best life by dominating the Texas pageant scene and dating the captain of the football team. The one she knew she was totally wrong about.

The biggest challenge of their whole “situation” was not being able to tell anyone. Shelby had Toni promise that she wouldn’t tell anyone about the true nature of their relationship. As she put it, letting too many people in could complicate things, exposing the truth.

This made her want to text Regan more than ever. Since Regan went to a different school it would make no difference whether she knew or not. She was the one person Toni could confide in and now she had no one.

Toni put the basketball down and headed to the light switch, thinking that might help her get to sleep. As she was about to flip the switch, she heard the door start to open behind her.

“Oh hey, Marty.” When Toni turned to face the door, she saw Shelby following behind her. “What’re you doing here...babe?” Toni hoped Marty wouldn’t pick up on the harshness in her voice before she slipped out a quiet “babe” to cover her tracks.

“Surprise!” Shelby grinned as she moved closer to Toni, wrapping her arms around her. “Nice save.” She whispered sarcastically once Marty was out of earshot as she walked towards the drawer under her bed.

Toni watched as Marty stuffed some clothes into her backpack. “What’re you packing for?”

“I’m staying at Leah’s tonight.” Marty replied.

“Is she good? Ew, did she start talking to Jeff again?”

Marty chuckled. “No, no. She’s all good. Just thought I could stay over there and Shelby could stay the night here!”

“I tried to tell her not to…” Shelby whispered.

“Marty, don’t—“ Toni started.

“Nope, no, I’m leaving before you can say no!” Marty hugged them both on her way out. “You two deserve this!” If only Marty knew the truth. They definitely didn’t deserve it.

“The fuck was that? Since when did you two become friends?” Toni laughed as she sat down on her bed.

“Well,” Shelby began as she also sat down.

Toni raised her eyebrow. She appreciated how Shelby made herself comfortable without a second thought. Technically, they had known each other for years so that familiarity should still be there. But obviously things had changed, things felt different, even after Toni found out how wrong she was about her.

“Oh, is this okay?” Shelby asked, ready to get up.

“Yeah, yeah. Of course. What were you saying?” Toni passed her a pillow.

Shelby smiled, leaning into the pillow. “We have a class together. It’s in one of the huge lecture halls, so we never really noticed each other. When I was leaving, she was behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. She asked if I was ‘The Shelby, Toni’s girlfriend Shelby?’ And obviously, being the proud girlfriend I am, I said yes and things just went from there.”

“Yeah, I could see you guys getting along.” Marty had a habit of getting along with all of Toni’s love interests, fake or real.

“She’s a literal angel.” Shelby said with a nod. “And, as a Christian, I do not take that lightly.” She added with such seriousness that Toni couldn’t help laughing.

“She really is. I’m so lucky to have her.” She saw Shelby smile at her. It was soft, much smaller than the wide smile Toni recognized her for, but it was just as genuine.

“I don’t want you to think I kicked her out of her room. I really tried to convince her otherwise.”

“I know. It doesn’t surprise me.” Toni sighed. “Ever since she saw how hard I took the break up, she’s been trying to find ways to help. I know she’s absolutely thrilled about our ‘relationship.’”

“As much as I’d love her to be here too, having this alone time can help us figure out our ‘relationship.’”

“Yeah, that’s a good true.” Shelby was right. They hadn’t had much time to meet up since becoming “official.” At this point, Martha and maybe some of Shelby’s friends were the only ones who knew about them “dating.” 

“I know we should be doing more, like, couple-y types of things, but I know our schedules make it pretty hard.”

“We could eat together more?” It wasn’t the most creative suggestion, but their schedules made it difficult. It wasn’t like high school where they could walk hand in hand down the crowded halls to make it clear they were dating. The cafeteria was probably their best bet. 

“Yeah, we could always do that…” Shelby trailed off.

Toni started to think harder. “Wait, are you free tomorrow night?”

Shelby nodded. “Most Friday nights I’m free, unless my aunt plans one of her ‘game nights.’”

“Well, if your aunt isn’t having one of those tomorrow, you should come to my game.”

Shelby smiled. “That’s a great idea! Before my classes start, I’m gonna go home and make you a poster. Which one do you like more, blue or red poster paper?”

Toni chuckled, shaking her head. “Please don’t do that.”

“Oh, I’m doing it. Aunt Betty still has a ton of poster paper from the time she went to nearly every Brad Paisley concerts this one summer. I’m finally gonna put them to good use.”

Toni only very vaguely knew that was some country singer. “So what’s your aunt like anyways? Is she cool with you or…”

“Hmm.” Shelby’s eyes scanned the ceiling. It was clear she was looking for the right words to say.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Toni said with sincerity, realizing how hard it must be for Shelby to talk about her family.

“No, no. I’m just trying to figure out how to put it. I mean, she’s not the greatest ally, but she values family. She doesn’t think it was right the way my dad treated me. She was more than happy to take in a family member in need which she didn’t have to. She was the only one in my family to reach out. She doesn’t even talk to my dad anymore. Basically cut off her brother for me. Things aren’t perfect, but they’re getting better. I’m still forever grateful to her.”

Toni reached out to squeeze Shelby’s hand, hoping it offered her some comfort. “You’re really brave, Shelby.”

Shelby let out a quiet laugh, trying to keep back a few tears from spilling. She squeezed Toni’s hand back before wiping at her eyes. “I’m gonna get ready for bed.” Shelby got off the bed, pulling out a toothbrush and toothpaste from her book bag.

“You already had an overnight bag with you?”

“Just a toothbrush and toothpaste.”

“You don’t have any clothes with you?”

“Nope, I wasn’t expecting Martha to spring a sleepover on me the first time we met, but I can just sleep in this. It’s comfortable enough.” Shelby said, gesturing to her outfit comprised of jeans and a blouse.

“Who the fuck sleeps in jeans?” Toni laughed. She got off of her bed to rummage through her drawer. She pulled out a tank top and some basketball shorts. “Here, put these on.” She tossed them Shelby’s way.

Shelby studied the clothes with a frown. “I’m gonna look like a WNBA player.”

“First off, you wish. Second off, it’s better than sleeping in jeans you weirdo.” 

“Fine.” Shelby chuckled, taking the clothes into her arms. “At least ‘weirdo’s’ a better pet name than ‘babe.’”

“What’s wrong with ‘babe?’” Toni asked in a way that sounded embarrassingly defensive.

“I don’t know… It’s just so...generic.” Shelby shrugged. “And I know you can come up with something much better.” She smiled as she headed to the bathroom.

Toni realized it wasn’t worth being offended over. Shelby didn’t know any better. In Texas they probably gave each other pet names like “pecan pie, sweet tea, beef brisket.” 

She got off of her bed to remake it. Once she finished, she turned her attention to the door, noticing her hoodie hung on the coat hanger. She took it off the hook and began to fold it. 

Sharing Clothes. A staple of many couples across the world. It was one of the more subtle ways of saying “Hey! We’re dating!”, but effective nonetheless, especially because the hoodie had “SHALIFOE” printed on the back.

She placed it on her bed before laying down on Marty’s. As she got settled, she heard the door creek open. 

Shelby managed to turn her clothes into something much more like her own style. She tied the tanktop in the front so the loose fit turned into a form fitting crop top. She also rolled the shorts to fit her frame better. She smiled when she caught Toni’s eye. “You like it?”

Toni rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Not at all. You look nothing like the WNBA girlfriend of my dreams after all.”

“Oh?” Shelby raised an eyebrow as she began to unfold the shorts. “Is this better?”

“Fuck off.” Toni turned so Shelby couldn’t see her smile. “Could you hit the lights?”

“Sure.” Shelby walked towards the bed, pausing before she laid down. “Are you sure you don’t wanna sleep in your own bed?”

“It’s no big deal.” Toni failed to mention to Shelby that her mattress topper made it feel like you were sleeping on a cloud so obviously Texas’ top beauty queen had to take that bed. 

“Thank you. Oh, what’s this?” Shelby lifted up the hoodie before tucking herself into bed.

“I thought you could wear it if you want. If you wanna do the whole ‘sharing clothes thing’ couples do.”

“Yes, it’s perfect!” Toni could hear the smile in Shelby’s voice. “I’ll wear it to your game tomorrow.”

“Perfect. Good night, babe.” Toni smirked, knowing the pet name would get a rise out of her.

“Good night, honey bun.”

“‘Honey bun?!’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! next chapter will include more of the girls + fatin’s reaction to the letter. i hope you enjoyed this one!


	3. The Pre-Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the game, Fatin finds Toni to talk about the letter. She invites Toni to a party which she agrees to, hoping it will benefit Shelby. As the party nears closer, Toni realizes this may not be the case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi returning and new readers! i hope you enjoy this chapter!

When Toni stepped out of the locker room, she saw Marty and Shelby smiling at her, posters in hand. She finally got to seem them up close. The red one that Shelby held had “TONI” written on it in red glitter and Marty’s matching blue one had “SHALIFOE” written in blue glitter. 

Now that she was closer, she could also see that Shelby was wearing the hoodie. “I like your outfit.” Toni said with a smile, hugging both of them.

“Do you like the posters?” Marty beamed. “Shelby’s idea!”

“She warned me yesterday. Just glad there’s not a big cut out of my face on there.”

“Hmm, I think that gives us an idea for next time, huh Marty?” Shelby grinned. 

“So you’re a basketball fan now?” Toni asked.

“Yep.” Shelby nodded. “I’m even beginning to understand your thing for WNBA players.”

“The last time I said something about liking basketball she made me watch two hour highlight reels on YouTube.” Marty jokingly whispered, loud enough for Toni to hear. 

“Come on, that was like six years ago.”

“You mean six months ago.” The three of them laughed together. Suddenly, Marty became quiet.

“You good?” Toni asked.

“I think Fatin’s coming over here.” Marty whispered seriously this time. 

Fuck. There it was, another person who got a letter coming to talk to her. As much as she wanted to believe the letter would’ve gotten lost in whatever gala invites were being sent to the Jadmani’s, in the back of her mind, she knew this was a possibility. She just thought she’d be able to avoid facing her for a bit longer. 

“She is?” Shelby asked. 

“Yeah, you know Fatin?” Marty questioned..

“She used to come over Becca’s dorm a lot. They always partnered up for group projects.”

“I think right now she’s here to see me.” Toni trailed off. She looked at her surroundings, trying to find an exit since the last time she was approached by one of her letter recipients she ended up dating her. “I wrote her a letter too, guess she finally got it.”

As Fatin came closer, Martha could see that she definitely had something in her hand. “Yeah she’s holding something for sure.”

“Fuck.” Toni breathed out.

Shelby placed a hand on her cheek before leaning in to kiss her. After Toni’s initial surprise, she closed her eyes, kissing her back. Shelby pulled back with a smile as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind Toni’s ear. “We can give you guys some time to talk.”

“Yeah, we’ll meet you outside.” Marty said with a wave.

And just like that, they left, leaving Toni more flustered than she’d like to admit. The one plus was that she could see “SHALIFOE” printed on the hoodie as Shelby walked away.

She didn’t expect Shelby to be so forward. Didn’t really know why she did it either. Obviously she didn’t mind, but Marty and Fatin were the only ones around them. It surprised her that Shelby was able to shrug it off so easily, as if it wasn’t their first kiss after becoming an official fake-couple.

“Hey Toni!” Fatin called from behind her. 

“Hey Fatin,” Toni smiled. It was always nice to see her. It wasn’t like they hung out on the regular, but whenever they ran into each other, they’d take the time to catch up. “I didn’t know you came to our games.”

“I usually don’t, but I’m gonna start! My friends drag me out to the boys games, but you guys are so much better!” Fatin exclaimed. 

“Glad I could have that effect on you.” 

“I’d expect nothing less. You’re Toni, after all.”

“And you’re Fatin.”

Fatin had an amused look on her face. Toni knew their “small talk” was coming to an end. “I’m guessing you know why I came here to find you.” She said, holding up the letter in her hand. 

“Yeah, it’s not surprising.” Toni sighed. “This day was gonna come sooner or later and I owe you an explanation. Marty sent them out—“

“Ah, that explains Shelby then. You didn’t send it out in an attempt to confess your undying love for me?” Fatin teased.

“Not exactly.” Toni admitted. “I did mean what I wrote. I just didn’t mean for you to ever see it.” 

“Mm.” Fatin nodded. “I gotcha, couldn’t let the world know that basketball star Toni Shalifoe is also the reincarnation of Shakespeare.” She said, handing back the letter.

The two smiled at each other. Toni was relieved. She was expecting something much, much worse out of their whole encounter. 

“Thanks for being so cool about this. I know it’s a weird situation for you to be in.”

“Would I make it weirder if I invited you to a party tomorrow night? Bring Shelby and Marty, whoever else you want.”

“I don’t know… I—“

“Please!” Fatin put her hands together. “You never come and you kind of owe me for being ‘so cool’ about this whole thing. You said it yourself. I’ll even call an Uber for you guys so you really have no excuse to say no.”

“I could find another way to make it up to you.” Toni paused, remembering what Shelby had told her. “Is Becca gonna be there?”

“Probably, but if that’s gonna make things weird I can tell her not to come.”

Toni shook her head. “No, if I’m going I want her to be there.” 

Fatin raised an eyebrow. “You want your girlfriend’s ex to be there? You’re pretty bold, Toni. But like I said, I’d expect nothing less. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

•

Aunt Betty’s game night was substituted with Marty’s movie night, something her and Shelby had agreed to without Toni’s input. This seemed to be a new theme for them, but she didn’t mind. They even let her pick the movie. It was nice spending time with Shelby. It made faking a relationship with her that much more easy, more comfortable. As they laid on Toni’s bed with her head resting on Shelby’s chest and Shelby’s arms wrapped around her, she realized just how comfortable they had become. 

Exhausted from the game, Toni began to doze off. It wasn’t until she heard the door closed that she stirred awake again. She lifted her head up to look around. 

“Falling asleep during your own movie pick, huh? This is why Marty’s picking next week.” Shelby teased.

Toni sat up so she could look at her. “So this is a weekly thing now?”

“If you want it to be.” Shelby smiled, a bit shyly. 

“I do.” Toni smiled back. “But what about Aunt Betty’s game night?”

“We could always switch around movie night. Maybe Thursday’s?”

“That could work.” Toni nodded. “Oh,” she started, finally remembering to tell her about the conversation with Fatin. “I meant to tell you earlier, but we haven’t been alone much today,”

“Hm?”

“Fatin’s throwing a party tomorrow and she invited us, wants to Uber us there even. I don’t know if parties are your thing, so we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Toni paused, for some reason she felt hesitant to mention Becca, but at the end of the day that’s why they were there. They weren’t building a friendship between each other, they were trying to get their exes back. It wouldn’t be right not to mention it, even if Toni was hesitant to.

“She said Becca was gonna be there too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I think it would be a big step in getting her back. Seeing your ex at a party with someone else is gonna make her jealous without a doubt.”

“You think it’s a good idea?”

“Definitely.”

“Okay.” Shelby nodded. “Let’s go.”

•

Toni fell asleep again before she got to see the end of the movie. She woke up when she heard Shelby shuffling besides her. 

“Mm?” Toni looked up, still half asleep. “Are you leaving?” She asked drowsily as Shelby got up off of the bed. “You can stay the night if you want.” 

“Yeah, I have some chores to do early in the morning for my aunt, but I’ll spend the night tomorrow. Maybe I should pack an overnight back to keep here?” Shelby asked jokingly.

“You should.” Toni paused. “I know my basketball shorts are tempting though” 

Shelby chuckled. “They’re gonna be hard to let go...but I’ll think about it.” She leaned down to kiss Toni’s forehead and walked over to Marty’s bed to hug her.

“See you tomorrow, Shelby!” Marty called.

“See you!” Shelby said as the door shut behind her. 

•

Toni sat on her bed, watching Shelby fix her hair at the mirror on Toni’s desk. When she arrived at the dorm, she had two bags. One with her makeup, straightener, and hair products while the other was the overnight bag.

Toni frowned as she watched Shelby run the straightener through the same piece of hair again and again. She could tell something was bothering her. “If you keep straightening that one piece I’m pretty sure you could burn your hair off.”

“I know.” Shelby put the straightener down with a sigh before turning to face Toni.

“You really look beautiful.” Toni said. Shelby offered her a small smile. “But we don’t have to go if you don’t want to, it’s really not a big deal.”

“I do want to.” Shelby said with conviction. “We’re going.” She turned back around to face the mirror, fixating on her brows this time. 

“Do you wanna do my makeup?” Toni asked. Toni never wore makeup. She didn’t like the heavy feel of foundation. She always ended up poking herself in the eye with mascara wands. She broke an eyeliner pencil in half when she couldn’t get her wing straight. 

Despite Toni’s relationship with makeup being a hostile one, she was willing to put that aside if it would help Shelby keep her mind off of things.

“Really?” Shelby asked, turning around in surprise. 

“Mhm.” Toni nodded. “Once in a lifetime chance.” Toni realized it was worth it after all when she got to see Shelby’s wide, unbelievably bright smile.

They switched positions so that Toni was the one sitting on the chair and Shelby hovered above her. She reached over her to get the a bronzer palette, lightly brushing it over Toni’s skin before picking up the mascara. She didn’t bother with concealer or foundation, knowing Toni wasn’t one to wear makeup often.

Shelby combed through her eyelashes with ease. For once, the wand didn’t end up in Toni’s eye. When she finished with that, she reached over to pick up the lip gloss on the desk.

She opened it, but didn’t apply it. It hovered above Toni’s lips. “Was it weird that I kissed you yesterday?” Shelby asked quickly after glancing from Toni’s lips to her eyes. She sweeped the gloss across Toni’s lips as if to spare some time before she had to hear Toni’s answer. 

“No, why would it be?” The only weird thing about the kiss was how Toni felt afterwards. For a fake relationship, the kiss felt very real. “I’m your girlfriend, right?”

Shelby smiled, biting her lip. “Yeah, but you know what I mean. It was unexpected wasn’t it?”

“Doesn’t mean it was a bad thing.” Toni shrugged. “You’re my girlfriend. You can kiss me whenever.”

“Can I?”

They were both quiet as they looked into each other’s eyes. Toni’s eyes fell shut when Shelby’s face started to move closer to her’s. Instead of feeling Shelby’s lips on her own, she felt a gust of air as Marty opened the door.

“You guys ready?” Marty asked with Leah trailing behind her. Toni was sure they noticed Shelby’s visibly red cheeks. “Sorry, I should’ve knocked.” She chuckled.

“You’re good.” Toni replied quickly, getting off of the chair to look for her shoes. 

“Fatin said the Uber should be outside. Tried to text you guys, but it looks like you were busy.” Leah smiled knowingly.

“Something like that.” Toni said, glancing at Shelby with a small smile.

•

As they got closer to Fatin’s house, Shelby became quieter. She stared out the window, not engaged in the conversation Leah and Marty were having with the driver, Dean. Toni couldn’t make out if they were talking about his dog or his daughter, somewhere at the start of their conversation she started to zone out too.

“You okay?” She asked quietly, trying not to interrupt Marty since she sat between her and Shelby in the backseat.

Shelby looked away from the window to face her. “I’m good.” Shelby made it very obvious that she was not “good.”

“We don’t have to go, you know.” Toni said, squeezing Shelby’s hand.

“We’re almost there.” Shelby took Toni’s hand in hers, entwining their fingers. “And I do want to go. I really do.”

“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to. I know I wouldn’t be able to see my ex yet. And all you have to do is say the word, I’m sure our new friend Dean won’t mind giving us a ride back.” 

“Thanks, Toni.” Shelby finally cracked a smile. “I do have to admit, I am excited to party with the basketball team’s star player.”

“Then I’ll make sure you have a good time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the read! as always, please feel free to let me know about any typos/suggests! your comments are always appreciated, thank you for your time xx

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i hope you liked it! please leave a comment if you noticed any errors, or have any suggestions, thanks xx


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